Archive for August, 2008

Do you ever feel misunderstood or sense that the other person is not getting what you are trying to say?

Do you ever feel that it is a challenge to find the right words to express your innermost emotions?

Have you ever experienced that you say one thing and the other person hears something different? Do you ever find yourself exclaiming, “I never said that!”

Studies have shown that 80 percent of all quarrels are a direct result of mis-communication.

If you answered “Yes” to the questions, you have experienced the limitations of verbal communication.

Conversations charged with emotions of anger and hurt offer boundless potential for havoc and disaster. First, you have to translate your own inner world into words, which offers the first potential for confusion. As you speak, the tone of your voice and your body language offers a second opportunity for misunderstanding. The other person then translates what they hear (and remember, hearing can be very selective) into their own inner world and then deciphers the message. This is a very complicated process.

A proverb says: Silence is Golden.

In German we have an equal expression saying: Talking is silver, silence is gold. “Reden ist silber, schweigen ist gold”, and an American philosopher once quipped, “One of the things you can never get back is the spoken word.”

Please consider the deep wisdom found in these words. They contain the secret to creating harmony and peace in all your relationships.

We know, though, that in today’s society, biting your tongue doesn’t always resolve issues. Meditation, however, teaches you how to practice the art of nonverbal communication and how to connect to the other person on a spiritual level.

It’s easy: Next time, wait before you speak, especially when you are emotionally charged. Take a few deep breaths and center yourself. Visualize yourself surrounded by bright shining light, as well as the person you are communicating with. Set an intent for balance and peace which serves the highest good for all parties involved.

This example from a meditation student, a business director, illuminates the art of nonverbal communication.

Once a month her supervisor visited from out of town to evaluate her office. Even though her office was one of the top performers in the business, a week prior to the meeting my client got nervous and didn’t sleep well. She dreaded the meeting, and over the years it became a major stress factor in her life. When she arrived at meditation class her major complaint was lack of communication with her superior. “We don’t connect, he has a negative attitude and I don’t think he likes me,” she said.

I suggested that she practice the cleansing breath meditation, and to surround herself with brilliant light, as well as her superior. In addition, I asked her to write down a positive vision for the meeting, in which she described the best possible scenario of perfect communication. Skeptical, my student practiced the meditations and focused on her vision every evening before she went to sleep.

Prior to the meeting she visualized the conference room filled with bright shinning benevolent light. She surrounded herself with light and sent a loving intent from her heart to her supervisor’s heart.

Then she received a flash of insight: She saw her superior sitting comfortably in the chair next to her and not across from her, which felt more confrontational.

She rearranged the chairs, and her supervisor didn’t seem the least bit surprised to sit next to her instead of across from her. The atmosphere was relaxed and all the previous tension my client had felt was gone. For the first time, she enjoyed the meeting. It was never again a problem. She reported that a miracle had happened, and her newly acquired meditation tools allowed her to experience improvement in all of her relationships.

Do you ever find yourself taking on other people’s energies?

For example, you go to the mall and shortly after you feel extremely exhausted. Or you watch the news, see something terrible happen and you feel drained, depressed or anxious.

Or your co-workers don’t get along and after every meeting with them you feel aggressive or angry.

These are examples of taking on other people’s energies and emotions.

I would like to share two releasing exercises.

1. Energetic Protection:

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to your abdomen. Visualize a radiant bright shining ball of light above your head. From this ball of light you draw radiant light into your body, feel it reverberating within every cell. Enjoy the pure light vibration of radiant health, happiness, joy, fulfillment, harmony, balance, love and inner peace.

Now extend this light around your physical body, creating a protective bubble of radiant light. This shield of light surrounds you like an eggshell, extending 3 – 4 feet beyond your body. Only the highest and purest vibration enters from the outside. You are safe and secure in your shield of light, protected from negative influences.

Make this meditation part of your daily practice and you will notice an elevated level of energy, less mood swings, and a continuous positive outlook on life. Everything works out for you in a better and easier way.

2. Releasing Statement:

If you know the person whose energies you have picked up, the releasing statement is an efficient tool to free yourself. Simply put: You leave the issue with the person who owns it. Literally, it is none of your business. Life is so much easier if we don’t take on other people’s problems.

Visualize that person or the people involved in front of you and say:

“I leave it with you. I take responsibility for my part, the rest I leave with you. Everything that does not belong to me, I now give it back to you. In this way I honor your destiny and I am free to live my own.”

You may visualize a package or symbol for whatever it is that you carried for that person and hand it back to them.

An interesting observation is that people gain strength if they take full responsibility for their issues and their own destiny. Everyone of us is fully capable to handle our destinies.

A person who intends to ease someone’s suffering by taking on their problems, actually creates the opposite result. They weaken themselves, as well as the person who suffers the issue.

This means, if you would like to make this world a better place, take full responsibility for your own destiny.

Live your dreams, live the best live you can live and let your light shine bright and radiant.

Did you ever consider that every problem already contains its solution?

By nature, a problem can not exist without its solution. This is the law of polarity, opposites create one another and could not exist without one another. For example, day and night, man and woman, big and small, up and down, rational and irrational, problem and solution.

Every problem in your life can be seen as an invitation for spiritual growth and change.

In order to reach the solution an internal development is required.

Just look back on your life and you will see that every problem you ever faced eventually resolved itself and resulted into a solution. Evaluate the inner processes you had to experience in order to reach the new place. The process changed you and you had to let go of some of your beliefs, perceptions and judgments.

Our quality of life is an immediate result of our perceptions and attitudes towards the things that happen to us.

I would like to share a powerful meditation, which will help you to deal with the problems in your life in a better way.

Meditation

The solution to every problem that presents itself to you right now, already exists in a future place. In spirit there is no time and space. This means that you are spiritually able to access the vibration of the solution at this moment.

Sit in a comfortable chair and focus on abdominal breathing. With every breath you take you become more calm and quite. Close your eyes and visualize a sphere of light. You hold it with both of your hands. This is the sphere of your solution.

Feel its gentle vibration and energy. This energy streams through your hands and fills your entire body. Then it engulfs you entirely and extends all around you.

Meditate with your sphere of light for as often and as long as you wish. As you become a vessel for this new light vibration you become in tune with the solution and it can manifest itself in your life.

Expect miracles to happen.

The other day I had the perfect day of my life. I was busy completing the tasks on my to-do list when I realized that the weather was gorgeous and I’d rather be outdoors riding my motorcycle.

I allowed myself a two-hour break from work, got on my bike and enjoyed zooming along my favorite country roads. I followed the rolling hills through Burgettstown, Avella, and on the way to Hickory, I stopped at Cross Creek Lake. Bright sunlight turned the ripples of the water into silver. Geese flew over and into the distance and their distinctive honk resonated through the air. I enjoyed a moment of quiet reflection.

Then I continued my ride and felt inspired by meaningful inscriptions on the bulletin boards of country churches.
They said: “Start your day with gratitude, instead of attitude.”
And: “Life is not about surviving the storm, but about learning to dance in the rain.”

Yes, life can be easy and delightful, if we follow these simple truths. However, most of us rush through our demanding every day activities without taking time for ourselves. We are so busy accomplishing one task after the other we don’t even rest to catch a breath.

A quote from the Talmud states:

“When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in life that you denied yourself.”

Please, take a look at your day, every day, and ask yourself how you can bring more pleasure into your life. Make a list of pleasurable activities, e.g. a walk in nature, lunch with a friend, a hot relaxing bath, etc. Then schedule time for fun and pleasure in your planner.

A daily dose of pleasure increases the quality of your life and is the best form of preventative medicine. It uplifts your heart, so you may easily learn to dance in the rain. And most importantly: there will be no need to hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in life that you denied yourself.

Every language has its uniqueness and specific idioms, which you can not find in any other language. Occasionally it happens that I want to say something in English and there is no direct translation available for the perfect expression I know in Hebrew or German.

I love Hebrew. The language is ancient and every single word has a deeper meaning. It truly enriches my life to consider this incredible wisdom. For example:

The Hebrew word for dog is ‘Celev’. Literally translated it means: Like a heart. Now look at the dogs behavior and you will see that this is a perfect description. They open our hearts and teach us about unconditional love. You can always trust that your dog will wag its tail and be happy to see you, no matter what. This true and unconditional love opens our hearts.

Also consider if you see a connection between the words BREATH and SOUL. In Hebrew they have the same root, ‘neshima’ and ‘neshama’. Also HEALING and RELAXATION are closely connected, ‘ripui’ and ‘rafui’.

Latin is a great teacher, too. MEDICINE and MEDITATION do have the same roots. There is the Latin ‘mederi’, which means to find the right measure or the right balance. As well as the Latin ‘meditari’ which means to let go or to let happen. This is an important consideration, since our Western thinking teaches us to be in control, to achieve and to make things happen. We are always active, but sometimes it may be just as important to let go, give up control and enjoy the flow of life.

Certain expressions clearly illuminate the difference in thinking and perceiving the world. In America when you go to your doctor he will ask:”What is wrong with you?” In Germany your doctor will ask: “What is missing?” (Was fehlt Ihnen?) Take a moment and reflect upon these two approaches.

Which one of these two questions makes you feel better? The holistic approach to medicine teaches that all answers are within. I ask my students and Reflexology clients what is missing and the answers flow immediately and show the direct route to their healing and well-being.

Please take a few deep breaths to your abdomen. Inhale and exhale easily. With every breath you take you become more calm and quiet. Take a few moments and reflect upon your life.

See if there is anything that does not feel right. It may be any area of your life, your body, your work, your relationships, etc. Then ask yourself: “What is missing?” Continue to breath to your abdomen and invite the answers to come.

Practice this exercise daily. You may want to take notes and keep a journal. Your answers show you the way to the solution. Please do not ignore them. Learn to trust yourself and listen to your inner voice; then expect miracles to happen.