Do you ever feel misunderstood or sense that the other person is not getting what you are trying to say?

Do you ever feel that it is a challenge to find the right words to express your innermost emotions?

Have you ever experienced that you say one thing and the other person hears something different? Do you ever find yourself exclaiming, “I never said that!”

Studies have shown that 80 percent of all quarrels are a direct result of mis-communication.

If you answered “Yes” to the questions, you have experienced the limitations of verbal communication.

Conversations charged with emotions of anger and hurt offer boundless potential for havoc and disaster. First, you have to translate your own inner world into words, which offers the first potential for confusion. As you speak, the tone of your voice and your body language offers a second opportunity for misunderstanding. The other person then translates what they hear (and remember, hearing can be very selective) into their own inner world and then deciphers the message. This is a very complicated process.

A proverb says: Silence is Golden.

In German we have an equal expression saying: Talking is silver, silence is gold. “Reden ist silber, schweigen ist gold”, and an American philosopher once quipped, “One of the things you can never get back is the spoken word.”

Please consider the deep wisdom found in these words. They contain the secret to creating harmony and peace in all your relationships.

We know, though, that in today’s society, biting your tongue doesn’t always resolve issues. Meditation, however, teaches you how to practice the art of nonverbal communication and how to connect to the other person on a spiritual level.

It’s easy: Next time, wait before you speak, especially when you are emotionally charged. Take a few deep breaths and center yourself. Visualize yourself surrounded by bright shining light, as well as the person you are communicating with. Set an intent for balance and peace which serves the highest good for all parties involved.

This example from a meditation student, a business director, illuminates the art of nonverbal communication.

Once a month her supervisor visited from out of town to evaluate her office. Even though her office was one of the top performers in the business, a week prior to the meeting my client got nervous and didn’t sleep well. She dreaded the meeting, and over the years it became a major stress factor in her life. When she arrived at meditation class her major complaint was lack of communication with her superior. “We don’t connect, he has a negative attitude and I don’t think he likes me,” she said.

I suggested that she practice the cleansing breath meditation, and to surround herself with brilliant light, as well as her superior. In addition, I asked her to write down a positive vision for the meeting, in which she described the best possible scenario of perfect communication. Skeptical, my student practiced the meditations and focused on her vision every evening before she went to sleep.

Prior to the meeting she visualized the conference room filled with bright shinning benevolent light. She surrounded herself with light and sent a loving intent from her heart to her supervisor’s heart.

Then she received a flash of insight: She saw her superior sitting comfortably in the chair next to her and not across from her, which felt more confrontational.

She rearranged the chairs, and her supervisor didn’t seem the least bit surprised to sit next to her instead of across from her. The atmosphere was relaxed and all the previous tension my client had felt was gone. For the first time, she enjoyed the meeting. It was never again a problem. She reported that a miracle had happened, and her newly acquired meditation tools allowed her to experience improvement in all of her relationships.

Comments are closed.